WOLM2: Part 2

Xerxes Fett: "Uh...how much farther is it?"
Saber-Scorpion: "We're almost there, boy."
XF: "Um, my name's Fett, Xerxes Fett, though I suppose you may call me Xerx."
SS: "Very well Xerx, you could have just told me that when we first met."
XF: "Well... *grumble grumble*"

SS: "Ah, here we are."
XF: "Finally..."
SS: "Get off your horse so I can look at that wound of yours."
XF: "Ok *groan* Ow ow ow...."

SS: "Hmm...let's see..."
XF: "YEOOWWWWWW!!!"
SS: "Oh, whoops. Here, take some ether."
XF: "Thanks...whoah...*dozing*"
SS: "Hmmm...looks like the bullet went clean through. Fortunately it seemed to have missed any organs, but we still need to stop the bleeding."

XF: "Oh...wha? *dozing*"
SS: "I'll go get some bandages to wrap up your wound."
XF: "Wait wait...I think I'm semiconscious...I'll go ahead and do it."

SS: "If you insist, the bandages are here. But you should get some sleep also, rest is always good for healing. I'll go ahead and cook some supper while you're asleep."

XF: "Ok...where are the antiseptics? "
SS: "Those are too expensive, I go without. Sleep tight; and don't let snakes bite. They're poisonious."
XF: "Snakes? ... GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!! (smashing sounds are heard) Oh, that's just a rope...Got any more ether?"

*a few hours later*
XF: *yawn*
SS: "Ah, you're awake. Finally."
XF: "What's for dinner?"
SS: "SUPPER is rabbit stew."
XF: "Oooo, good."
SS: "Care for some coffee?"
XF: "Sure, thanks."

XF: "So uh, you said you were in the Confederate army huh?"
SS: "Yes, 1st Virginian regiment, under General Stonewall Jackson."

XF: "Interesting, I was still attending West Point Academy during the war, I didn't get out until '67. I always wanted to go out fight in a big war..."
SS: "No, you wouldn't have. Men without limbs, mutilated bodies, screams of anguish, blood ankle deep, I could barely handle it... *awkward silence* Supper's ready."

*after dinner, or as Scorp says, supper...*
XF: "So what are your plans for tommmorrow?"
SS: "Ah, thanks for reminding me, I was just going to ask you something. Would you mind joining me in a little hunt?"
XF: "Um...for what?"
SS: "A mine."
XF: "I...guess so...Where is it?"
SS: "That's what we're trying to find out."
XF: "OOoooh, I see. Well, since my previous job went up in smoke, I suppose I might as well."
SS: "Ok then, you'd better get some rest. You go ahead and sleep in the tent, I'll sleep outside."

XF: "Ok, goodnight."
SS: "Goodnight."

SS: "About time you got up, I've been waiting for you since the crack of dawn."
XF: "Wow, have you even moved?"
SS: "Yes, I did some scouting, and saw a cavalry regiment moving west. Oh, and coffee and breakfast is in front of you."
XF: "Thanks..."

*after breakfast*
XF: "So when are we heading out?"
SS: "Now, so get ready."

XF: "Do I have to ride this excuse of a horse without a saddle?"
SS: "You sure do, so you'd better start getting used to it now."

XF: *mumbling* "And I thought riding with a saddle was painful..."
SS: "Come Hawkeye, let's go."

*meanwhile*
George Badman: "Hmmm, ah yes...there they are...."

GB: "Two gatling guns, cannon, and plenty of ammunition...all ours for the taking... Firecloud, are your men ready?"

Chief Firecloud: "Yes, my men are waiting only for my signal to attack."
GB: "Excellent. Clanky, you stay here and cover us. Take out the wagon driver first, and proceed to 'discommission' the gatling gun operators and everyone else. All right men, let's head out!"

General Caleb Shceck: *singing* "Old man river, that old man river, just keeps flowing..."

Colonel: "With all due respect sir, could you please stop singing that song!"
GCS: "But it's part of out heritage, and that's what we're fighting to protect against these thieving red-skins."
Colonel: "Well they can take that part of my heritage any day..."

CF: "WHOA!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!"
Indians: *battle cry*
*BLAM*
Wagon driver: *huhg*
Colonel: "What in tarnation..."
GCS: "Defensive positions! McGunigle! Colonel! Get the gatlings out and ready!"

XF: "Hey, what all the noise?"
SS: "Looks like the Calvary just got ambushed, or were they attacking the Indians?"
XF: "Hmmm, should we join the fight?"
SS: "Well, if we do, who will we fight for..."

Indian: *battle cry*
*BLAM BLAM*

XF: "Well I guess that answers our questions."

*meanwhile*
Delu Jamaal: "Outlaw filth..."
*clunk!*
Clanky: "Ugh..." *unconscious*

*gunfire*
Private Joeseph Hamman: "The injuns! They're everywhere!"
GCS: "GET that gatling GOING Mcgunigle!!"

*vrrrrr......pop pop pop pop pop pop!!!!*
Indians: "GAHHa ha ahhh!"
GB: "Fall back, the gatling's online!"

GCS: *sigh* "Damage report, Major."
Major Russel Hamman: "Colonel Hacksaw, Private Sanders, and Lieuenant Jacobeans are dead; and Strokosky is grievously wounded."
GCS: "Great, we have been reduced to half of our fighting strength..."

Indians: *battle cry*
PJH: "NO! More of them! Aaahh!"
Mcgunigle: "Gah!"
GCS: "Lieutenant!"

XF: "YEEEEHAAAW!!!!!!!"
*gunfire*

SS: "Hrunh!"
XF: "Whoah! Amazing...wah!"

XF: "waaaaaaaaaaah!!"
*BLAM!*
*scorp blasts one Indian and stabs the other with his saber*
Indians: *huic*

GCS: "Incredible! You saved us!"
SS: "No problem."
GCS: "But, uh...weren't there two of you?"

XF: "Ow...stupid slippery blanket...I hate riding bareback..."
Ryan: "Well hello, what a surprise finding my bounty so quickly..."
XF: "Eehhh...he he...I got a bounty on me? I'm wanted alive right?"
Ryan: "Dead or alive, preferrable dead."
XF: "Oh. Bummer."

Jade: "A HA! There you are!"
XF: "Rescue!"
Joaquin Murrieta: "Hey amigo, that's our man! Let us have him!"
XF: "Or not..."
Ryan: "What?!"
Jade: "Hand him over peacefully, now. Or things may get...bloody..."

Ryan: "NO one takes my bounty, ever."
*BLAM!*
Joaquin Murrieta: "AYI!!!"
Jade: "Hey!"
XF: "Run away, run away..."

*meanwhile*
GB: "Clanky! We got slaughtered back there! What were you DOING!"
Clanky: "Look boss, I almost got slaughtered, see my head?"
GB: "What?! Who did that?"

DJ: "That would be me, and now you're next."
GB: "HA ha! You again! I thought I left you at Settler's Pass! Well, you know what they say, those who live by the sword die by those with a gun!"

*BLAM BLAM BLAM!!*
DJ: "Hrunh.."

DJ: "And those who depend on guns for everything find they are not so trustworthy."
GB: "Whoah! Erah... "

Clanky: "And those who don't watch they're backs end up having a broken one!"
DJ: "Hmm?"

GB: "HA HA!! Good one Clank! Catch me some other time Delu, if you can!"
DJ: "Errrgh..."

Clanky: "HA ha! Run away to live to fight another day!"
DJ: "Argh!"

DJ: "One day George, one day..."

GCS: "I could've swore I saw two..."
SS: "Yes, my accomplice is..."
XF: "Right here!"
GCS: "Oh, so I see. Well, since you're both right here, mind if I ask you a favor?"
SS: "Sure."
GCS: "Would you mind escorting us back to Fort Legoredo?"
XF: "Wouldn't mind a bit."

GCS: "Thank you, you are most kind. I'll make sure you'll get rewarded for your troubles."
DJ: "Excuse me, but mind if I join your little caravan?"
SS: "Who..."
GCS: "Why, a poor defenseless woman out in the middle of nowhere! Of course you may join us, I will protect you with my life, on my honor!"
DJ: "Em...yes, of course...if you say so..."
GCS: "Saddle up boys, we're heading out!"
XF: "Um, I lost my horse back there and..."
GCS: "Not a problem, we lost a few riders. So please, if you would, ride that white stallion with the gatling gun."
XF: "Ooo, my pleasure."

*later*
SS: "All right, turn left here, and follow this road one mile. It will take you directly to the fort."
GCS: "Thank you very much, your help was muchly appreciated. You will not leave un-rewarded. Xerxes, if you would be so kind as to attach the gatling to my horse, you may keep that white stallion and the rifle on it."

XF: "Well I'm always ready to help...when there's a reward..."
GCS: *turning to scorp* "And as for you, my friend, would the newest top-of-line shotgun suit you as a reward?"
SS: "Of course, sir."
GCS: "Excellent, Major, give him a shotgun."
MRH: "Yes sir!"

GCS: "All right, let's move out!"
MRH: "Here is your shotgun sir, we are forever in your debt."
SS: "Thank you."

Mcgunigle: "Thank you sirs!"
XF: "No problem. So Scorp, just where are we headed now?"
SS: "We're to Legoredo, the town, not the fort."
DJ: "Well well well..."

DJ: "The heroes of the day."
SS: "Did you need something?"
DJ: "Oh, I just thought I'd tag along. You looked like you could use some help."
SS: "NO, actually we don't."
DJ: "I beg to differ. You're obviously bounty hunters, and bounty hunters can always use some back up. That's when my mercenary skills come in."
XF: "How much do your skills cost?"
DJ: "I want only one thing, George Badman's dead body."
SS: "Hmm, well, that IS the same man we're looking for, so I say you got yourself a deal."
XF: "All right, now that we're friends, check out this shiny saber I got."

SS: "And just where did you get that?"
XF: "Oh, I picked it up off of one of the dead soldiers. I don't think he'll miss it. Oh ya, and what's the difference between a stallion and a horse?"
Ninja: "This is going to be a long trip..."

*later*
Townsperson: "Howdy strangers!"
SS: "Well here we are, Legoredo."
XF: "Yes, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy..."
DJ: "In the saloon."
SS: "Which is right where we're going."
XF: "Um, why are we going to the saloon?"
SS: "To look for a man named James Hurst."

XF: "Oh, ok. Speaking of the saloon, you'd think they wouldn't have to make such a dogonne big sign...must be good for advertising I 'spose."
DJ: "I'll stay here and guard our horses, you go on in."
SS: "Very well."
XF: *singing* "Oh I love the smell of whiskey in the morning..."

Deputy Chris Smith: "Drake! Xerxes Fett and some others just rode into town!"
Sheriff Drake: "So? He doesn't have a bounty on him."
DCS: "That's the thing, I just got word a few minutes ago that there IS a bounty on him, dead or alive, preferrably dead. Reward $500."
SD: *whistles* "Gee whilickers! That's a lot of money! We can't pass this up. Are the sheriffs from Calavaras County still staying in the hotel?"
DCS: "As far as I know..."
SD: "Good, bring them here. We'll catch them in the morning as they try to leave. With our combined strength, there's no way he can escape..."

XF: *still singing* "And I love it everyday, HEY!"
*everyone slowly turns towards Xerx, and the Indian gets up to leave*

SS: "Do you have to make such a big entrance?"
XF: *grinning* "Every time."
Piano Player: *piano music* *singing* "Oh I was riding my horse into town, when I noticed all was deathly still..."
SS: *taps man's back* "Excuse me..."

SS: "Are you James Hurst?"
James Hurst: *hiccup* "Who wants to know?"
SS: "Saber Scorpion, I have a job for you."
JH: "Oooooooooooooh..."*hiccup*
XF: "Are you sure you want this guy?"
Piano player: *still singing and playing* "The city was burning, with everybody dead. And I saw brains and guts and vital organs, splattered everywhere; as well as my favorite saloon, just a pile of ash..."

Bartender: "Leaving so soon?"
XF: "Hey, maybe next time partner."
Piano player: *still singing* And I said: "Oh God, please answer me this question. Why did my whiskey corner, have to go up in flames. What a drag, because I just can't live without the stuff and now I'll never ever ever be quite the same again. OH tell me! Why does this always happen, why does this always happen to me. Why does this always happen... "

DJ: "I saw the sheriff walk over to the hotel, I suspect trouble."
SS: "Nah, don't worry about it; he won't bother us. We'll stay in the hotel tonight, and leave early the next morning."

Dewey Cheatum: *whispering* C'mon Flatfoot, before we get caught!
Flatfoot Thompson: Don't rush me! Bank robbing is an extremely delicate matter, especially when using dynomite...

*meanwhile*
Blacksnake: "WHERE IS THE MINE!!!"
Jebidiah Crane: *groan* "I told you, I don't know WHERE it is, but I have..."

Blacksnake: "TELL ME!!!"
JC: "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!! ugh..."

Steve "The Rattlesnake" Austin: "Eh, he out again boss."
Backsnake: "Already? Argh, I'll never find out... Take him away!"

SRA: "All right..."
Blacksnake: "Hey, what's this that came out of his pocket?"

Blacksnake: "Well what do you know, the old hoot had a map to the mine all along. Why didn't he just tell me...Hmmm... Oh well, STEVE!! Change of plans, go saddle up the horses; we're moving out!"