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Saber-Scorpion and Xerxes Fett inspect the hangar where their ships were previously located. They hear a small voice coming from a heap of saws in the corner.
MG-16: "Help?"
Scorp: "Hey, it's my droid, MG-16!"
Xerxes: "What happened, droid? Where are our ships?"
Scorp drags his droid out of the rubble heap as he explains.
MG-16: "A bunch of thugz ztole them. I devended them with my live. But they blazted ovv my legz. I did, however, manage to zave Zcorp'z armor."
Xerxes: "What's this white ball thing? A bomb?"
MG-16: "I believe they are uzed for zome kind of primitive, barbaric vorm of entertainment on thiz planet. But can we get out ov here now?"
Scorp: "Sure."
Xerxes Fett and Saber-Scorpion (dragging the body of his droid behind him), make their way to the nearest starship rental facility.
Xerxes: "What does that say?"
Scorp: "I have no idea. I only know so many languages besides Aurabesh, and this isn't one of them."
MG-16: "I believe it zayz 'RENT', zir."
Xerxes: "Well, I hope you can pay for this, Scorp. I had to pay for the pizza and the damage we caused... and I used up all my 100 dollars."
Scorp: "I don't have any credits. Just these pirate coins..."
Xerxes: "Wonderful... well, we'd better try. Hey, guy! Customsers!"
Mechanic: "Wha...? Oh, cushtumuhs..."
MG-16: "I believe thiz man iz intoxzicated."
Scorp: "Do you have a ship we can rent for... four pirate coins?"
Mechanic: "Uh, I'll see what I can find... Jusht let me wake up a bit. Uh, follow me this way, dude."
Mechanic: "Okay, sho um, I gotsh thish great ship I'she been workin on fuh shevrul yearsh now."
XF: "Really?"
MG: "Thiz iz zuch a humiliating way to travel."
Mechanic: "Here she ish! What a beauty! Hey, Murray! How'sh she comin?!"
Murray: "Uh-huh!"
XF: "What a piece of junk!"
SS: "Are you sure you don't have any... other ships?"
Mechanic: "Dude, you'll nevah find a bettah ship foe dish prishe... HICCUP! Okay, you'll have to sh... (hic!) sit in here."
SS: "There's... no room."
Mechanic: "Don't be a wimp! I gotsh tah take thish shipment o' droids along too. So yeah."
XF: "Oh, don't worry, Scorp. We can fit."
SS: "I can't believe I'm doing this... Why can't you let one of us fly?!"
Mechanic: "Chill out, man. Regulationsh. I gotsh tah fly da ship. Beshides, you guysh prob'ly wouldn't bring it back!"
MG: "Zir, there iz zimply no way thiz thing will ever make it into zpaze..."
Mechanic: "There; food shupply packed in. Now let'sh shee... Accordin' to da Mechanics for Dummies book, I should just click dis doo-hicky here. Heh, if some 9-year-old kid who'd never flown one o' these before could accident'ly blow up a starship, I should be able ta fly from one planet to da other! Piece o' cheese!"
Mechanic: "Okay, now that I'm all settled in... Uh, where's that intercom thing? Ah, here 'tish."
Mechanic over intercom: "Okay, passungersh... Uh, strap in... Oh, wait, we don't got straps. Nevermind dat. Just hold on to yer butts, cuz she's gonna be a bumpy ride!"
SS: "I have a baaad feeling about this."
Mechanic: "Ah, shpace, da final front-ear. And those boys back at the garage said I'd never get this wrecked shuttle flyin' again. Okay, all I gotshta do now is fly to da jump point and eat my shandwich."
XF: "Why is my cat floating?"
Mechanic: "Oh, uh, I'm still gettin' the gravity-generators fixsht. I thunk Murray wush just doin' dat. Oh wull. You guys can hang on, right?"
Mechanic: "Oh, crap. There's a cop on our tail. I'll try an' shake 'im 'fore he pulls us over."
XF: "Pulls us over? You mean a tractor beam?"
Mechanic: "Hang on, dudes. I'm makin' the jump to light-speed and shtuff."
SS: "Hang on, there's a viewport here where the rear gun turret SHOULD have been... Oh, sithspit, a TIE Interceptor!"
TIE Pilot: "This is Gamma 1 to unidentified... uh, Imperial Shuttle? Power down your engines and jettison your cargo."
XF: "What did he...?! Quick, Scorp, give me my helmet!"
Mechanic: "I swear I ain't smugglin' spice. Hang on guys I'm jumpin' to warp speed!"
XF: "WHAT speed?"
SS and XF hear the engines power up, but then there is a sound like someone turning on a blender filled with screws and bolts, and the ship stops moving.
Mechanic: "I'm gonna kill Murray when I get back."
TIE Pilot: "Nice try, trash-heap. Now die."
The TIE Interceptor blasts the shuttle.
XF: "Doesn't this thing have shields?!"
Mechanic: "Crap. I knew I forgot somethin' when I started puttin' her back together..."
Mechanic: "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Oh, crap, the planet's gettin' bigger. We're gonna crash. I knew it'd end this way. I shoulda become a wookiee hairstylist like my momma told me."
With the sound of grinding metal, the ship crashes into the planet surface and comes to a halt in a small grove. All is silent, and there is no sign of our heroes or the ship's pilot.
MG-16's muffled voice: "Help?"
A curious native cautiously approaches the fallen spacecraft, thinking of gods from the stars and other such nonsense.
Native: "Yub-yub?"
Muffled voice of SS: "Push! Man this door is heavy! I'd hate for it to land on me!"
SPLAT!
SS: "That got it. Hey, where'd all the blood come from?"
SS: "There you are, Xerxes! Don't move! I'm going to kill you for subjecting me to this humiliation!"
XF: "Calm down! And give me back my cat... Shouldn't we at least see if the pilot's still alive?"
SS: "Fine."
MG-16: "Help?"
XF: "Wow. I think he's dead. What a mess. All that food... It looks like he drowned in his own beer."
SS: "Nothing that smells like that could possibly be alive. Let's just leave him."
MG-16: "I am being dragged around by a cat. My humiliation iz complete. I think it'z zave to zay that things couldn't get much worze than thiz."
XF: "There isn't much to do now except start walking."
SS: "Do you think the mercenaries that were hunting us will follow us here?"
MG-16: "Probably. And then they'll rip my armz ovv too."
Mechanic: "Oh, man. I'm drownin' in my own beer. I just had an awful thought. I don't think I want anymore beer. What a strange feelin'..."
Mercenary: "Okay, buddy, which way did the armored guys go? The mandalore and the bounty hunter?"
Mechanic: "What? Mandy Lore? Uh, I dunno. Could you guys just get my head out o' this spilled beer?"
Stormtrooper: "Look! Tracks!"
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